Heaven Isn't
by RainbowBetty
Summary: After 5.16, Dark Side of the Moon. Talking leads to a bit of a chick flick moment, but nobody dies.


Dean had his suspicions from the beginning. His car, an open road. And no Sam.

He might even have bought it. In the end, he could have probably somehow wrapped his head around the idea that Sam didn't want him in his eternity if it hadn't gone so twisted between the Roadhouse and his mom and Zachariah.

"Some of it was nice," Sam mused afterwards, leaning up against the hood of the car and handing Dean a beer. "You know… the parts that weren't messed up."

Dean grimaced. "Yeah, remind me. Which part was that again?"

Sam shrugged and squinted into the horizon, the light of the setting sun playing off flecks of green and gold in his eyes. "We've apparently been there before."

"It's probably all crap. That's what I think. I think it was one hundred percent us being dicked with." He twisted off the cap of his beer and took a long drink, leaning against the car next to Sam. "Heaven," he laughed bitterly. _"Right."_

Sam looked at him, that half eye-roll he reserved just for Dean.

"Tell me this, then," Dean went on. "Ellen and Jo. Two more decent people never walked this earth, and you mean to tell me they don't deserve a part in God's little after-school special? You're telling me Ellen and Jo… are in _Hell,_ Sam?"

Sam looked down. "No. I don't know," he admitted.

They sat in silence for a moment. Finally, Dean said, "You know what really seemed off? It was all repeats, man. I mean, really? We're supposed to believe that's all there is, this tiny little flash of life and then you spend all of eternity reviewing the highlights reel? That's crap. That's somebody's idea of joke. And it's a bad one."

"So… what then? What do you think Heaven really _is?_" Sam posed the question like a challenge, like one of the hundreds of _what-if_ questions asked along roads just like this one, when they had nothing to do but kill time. He was glad to see Dean's stance visibly relax and he leaned back further against the Impala.

This felt normal. For a moment, they weren't pawns in anyone's game. They were just… themselves.

"I dunno, man. I don't have any answers. If I did, we wouldn't be sitting on our asses staring down the barrel at the apocalypse."

"Right. Well. I know what it would be for me."

Dean looked over at him. "Oh yeah? What?"

"When I picture it, it's just… simple. Everything all normal and right with the world, you know? All back to being safe from everything we—I… from Lucifer and Michael. I've even thought about, I don't know. What it would be like to have a family. I mean, kids, a… a wife. Picket fence. You coming by with a six pack to watch the game." He grinned at Dean, looking sheepish all of a sudden. "It's dumb, I know. But it's what I see when I picture us happy."

Dean wasn't sure why the thought of Sam never having any of that made him want to punch something.

"And maybe we'd have a dog."

Dean raised his eyebrows. "Wait. You want a dog?"

"I like dogs. Don't you like dogs?"

"I don't know. They're fine. I guess." He paused, a smile playing on his lips. "We'll get you a dog when we get to heaven, Sam."

"Gee, thanks, _Dad."_

Dean laughed and took a drink of his beer. So did Sam.

Sam looked down. "Dean, if we don't find a way to…"

"Sam, don't. Okay? I don't want to talk about it. Not now."

"Okay." He bit his lip, thumbnail scraping at the paper on the label of his beer bottle.

Dean reached over and smacked his shoulder. "What kind of dog?"

Sam blinked. "Huh? Um." He smiled. "Golden retriever, maybe."

"Nice. Got a thing for blondes, huh?"

_"Dean."_

"No dogs in the car though. That's a rule."

"Fine, Dean. I won't let our _imaginary_ dog, that we don't have, ride in the non-corporeal representation of our car, in our theoretical afterlife."

Dean grinned. "What you said, bro."

Sam elbowed him. "What about you? What's Heaven?"

"Probably… boobs."

"Dean, come on."

"Actually, this right here isn't so bad, right? A few more beers in the cooler and turn down the humidity a notch and we're good. Maybe some tunes."

"That's it, really?"

Dean tilted his bottle back and considered it. "No, that's not it. That was my whole problem with the Heaven they showed us. None of it was new. There was no fucking point." He looked over at Sam and smirked. "The best part about being on the road is finding some new place we need to go check out. Something new to explore. You know?"

"Like the Grand Canyon. Do you realize all this time we've been talking about the Grand Canyon, we've still never been?"

"We should go," Dean said, all seriousness.

They sat in silence for a long time.

Then Sam tilted his bottle toward Dean's. "Soul mates, I guess?"

Dean clinked his bottle against Sam's and met his brother's eyes, no words needed.


End file.
